I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
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