I got her a Nickelback box set.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Randomize
