Banned from zoo.
Again?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Randomize
