I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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