is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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