U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
