Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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