We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
