Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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