ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
