My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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