take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
