all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
