What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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