I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i was born a porn star she said
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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