Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize