she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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