shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
