What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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