i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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