"it" just moved
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
