I murdered the dance floor call the cops
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize