And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
