no, he came in my armpit
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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