Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
