Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
