You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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