You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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