omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
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