omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
there was a trapeze. enough said
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
