is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
He is an equal opportunity slut.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
