so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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