Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Randomize
