Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
