Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
