There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
