You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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