i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
