So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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