there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
