i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
