If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
