Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
