I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
