so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize