So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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