I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I need to align my fucking chakras
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
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