They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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