Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
