Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
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the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
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I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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