I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
We don't watch enough power rangers
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
