I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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