Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
