the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
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Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
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That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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