So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
You left your underwear on the fireplace
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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