in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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