I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize