She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
